1
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,400
Welcome back to Play Of The Week,

2
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,240
where each week a new play
is performed live in front

3
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:21,680
of a studio audience here in Cornley
and broadcast to the nation.

4
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:25,120
I am Chris Bean...the director!

5
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,880
Last week, you joined us

6
00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:30,520
for our thrilling, unlicensed sequel
<font color="

7
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,840
entitled More Horse.

8
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,720
I'd like to thank all those
who wrote in with their complaints.

9
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,360
The criticisms offered
were as artistically sound

10
00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,200
as they were personally abusive.

11
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:46,280
Needless to say, I will never again
<font color="

12
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,680
So, tonight's piece
is a period romance.

13
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:54,680
The actors are prepared,
the stage is set.

14
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,920
Please enjoy Harper's Locket!

15
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,600
CLONK!

16
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,160
Bravo, Celeste!

17
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,320
I always say you can get the measure
<font color="

18
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,760
she swings a mallet.

19
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,280
And I always say you can get
the measure of a man by seeing

20
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,720
how often he insists
upon measuring ladies.

21
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:33,000
Now, now, Celeste, be nice
to your fiance. Your turn, Edwin.

22
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,120
CLONK!

23
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,160
<font color="

24
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,480
There's a storm coming.
I can feel it in the air.

25
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:53,320
Celeste! The sun is shining
and the sparrows are in flight.

26
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,160
LOUD SQUAWKING

27
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:57,760
How tranquil it is.

28
00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:59,640
Sparrows are so beautiful.

29
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,720
<font color="
long enough for me to paint them.

30
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,720
Go. Go.

31
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,160
SQUAWKING

32
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,680
Emily, how is your painting
coming along?

33
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:17,120
It's very nearly finished, Father.
Well, I can't wait to see it.

34
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,400
Where is your butler
<font color="

35
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,400
I asked him for it ten minutes ago.

36
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,000
If he was my man, I'd...

37
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,760
If he was my man,
I'd have him flogged.

38
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:32,240
Really, Edwin! I'd never dream
of harming a member of my staff.

39
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,080
I grow weary of this game.

40
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,440
<font color="
She's a coward, eh, Edwin?

41
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:49,960
BANG!

42
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,720
Excuse me.

43
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:56,200
She certainly is a coward.

44
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,520
But that shall all have to change
when we're married.

45
00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,800
Father, please can we go outside?
Not until we've had our lemonade.

46
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,920
<font color="

47
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:14,720
Thank you, Smythe.

48
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,920
Delicious.

49
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:19,960
Did Mrs Hargreaves make it?

50
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,000
Did you? Bravo. Wonderful.

51
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,920
Shake my hand.
Don't shake my hand, in fact.

52
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:26,640
Just, er, open the wine cellar,
will you?

53
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,240
<font color="
On your way. What a good man.

54
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,560
I made the lemonade!

55
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,920
Thank you.

56
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,040
Shall we go inside? But we haven't
seen Emily's painting yet.

57
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:39,120
Oh, yes, Emily. Do show us
your latest masterpiece.

58
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,840
<font color="
It is the very likeness of us.

59
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,680
And you've included a frog.

60
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,840
Yes. It's the only thing
I know how to paint.

61
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,240
What a talent.
Let's head inside. Mm.

62
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,000
Celeste?

63
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,040
The...?

64
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,680
<font color="

65
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:10,760
Celeste, aren't you coming in?

66
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,280
I'm sorry, Father.
Celeste!

67
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:14,480
You seem most distra...

68
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,520
..most distracted this afternoon.

69
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,640
Do I?

70
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:20,880
What do you think of Edwin?

71
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,240
He is a fine gentleman.

72
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,320
<font color="

73
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,120
He seems very keen on you. I'm sure
you'll be most happy with him.

74
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,920
And he with my dowry.
Please, Celeste!

75
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:32,080
You know I'm not long
for this world...

76
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,920
TERRIBLE COUGHING FIT

77
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,200
..weak and drawn.

78
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,480
<font color="

79
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,200
This wicked illness grips tighter
upon my lungs each day.

80
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,560
FEEBLE COUGH

81
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,040
Please, Papa, you must rest.

82
00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:50,880
But if you drive away the baron,

83
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,360
who shall care for you
after I've passed?

84
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,160
I shall care for myself.

85
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,480
<font color="

86
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:57,760
COUGHING FIT

87
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:03,440
I wish to marry for love.
You must marry sensibly, Celeste.

88
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,720
Love will naturally follow.

89
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,640
Oh, please, Father!

90
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,000
Oh, please, Father!

91
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,480
CUCKOO CLOCK CHIMES THE HOUR

92
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,800
Time to take one of your pills.
<font color="

93
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:48,120
My dear, noble papa.

94
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,640
I'll see you inside.

95
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,480
Mmmmmm.

96
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,960
PIANO PLAYS

97
00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:00,920


98
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:04,160


99
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:08,120


100
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:12,520


101
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:16,280
<font color="

102
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:19,960


103
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:23,320


104
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:26,840


105
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,200
PIANO STOPS

106
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,600
Emily, I do wish you'd play
more often. Thanks, Father.

107
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,760
Mother always used to say
<font color="

108
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,640
PIANO STARTS

109
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,040


110
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,760


111
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:46,920


112
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,680
PIANO STOPS

113
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,680
Emily, I do wish you'd play
more often.

114
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,000
Mother always used to say...

115
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,760
<font color="

116
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,520


117
00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,360
BANGING AND CRASHING


118
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,560
PIANO SLOWS DOWN

119
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,400


120
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,400


121
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:15,840


122
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,680
PIANO STOPS
Beautiful!

123
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,920
<font color="
you'd play more often.

124
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,240
Mother always used to say...

125
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,600
PIANO STARTS

126
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,480
Emily, please, stop practising!
Yes, I'd like to stop practising!

127
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,480
We'd all like you
to stop practising!

128
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,600
You must stop practising!

129
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,240
<font color="

130
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,800
CAT MEOWS

131
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,720
CAT YOWLS

132
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,280
MEOWING ECHOES

133
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:49,920
Emily...

134
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,760
..I do wish you'd play more often.

135
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:58,640
Yes. Mother always used to say
practice makes perfect.

136
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,040
Well, not in this case.

137
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,400
<font color="
a while longer in the garden.

138
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,400
Oh, yes, it's almost four.

139
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,040
She'll be waiting for Harper
to come back from riding.

140
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:17,080
Harper? Our stable boy. Celeste
really is obsessed with horses.

141
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,120
<font color="

142
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,280
Harper!

143
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,160
Hello, Harper.

144
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,280
Hello, Harper!
Oh!

145
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,320
Good afternoon, Miss Fennick.

146
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:58,080
And hello, Treacle.
How are you, girl?

147
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,320
Neigh.

148
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,960
Why don't you join us
<font color="

149
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,520
The thistles must not grow
amongst the fine roses, miss.

150
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:17,000
Oh, Harper, I do so admire
how you see the world...

151
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,520
..so simple...

152
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,760
..so pure...

153
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,920
..so gentle.

154
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,080
I ain't nothing special, miss.

155
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,360
<font color="
for your friend here.

156
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,080
Eat up, Treacle!

157
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,560
VACUUM WHIRS

158
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,680
But! But!

159
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,080
VACUUM OFF

160
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,080
She was hungry.

161
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,480
Neigh!

162
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,400
Harper?
Miss Fennick?

163
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,480
<font color="

164
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:05,880
Get back indoors, Miss Fennick.

165
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,000
You don't want
to get caught in the rain.

166
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,400
Goodbye, Harper.

167
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,920
Come on, girl.

168
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,600
Clop-clip, clop-clip.

169
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,000
"Clip-clop."
Oh, are we both horses?

170
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,160
Ah, Celeste.
<font color="

171
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,840
I meant every word. Please, stop.
I must have you, Emily.

172
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,120
Edwin, it's over!
You're marrying my sister!

173
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,440
A marriage of convenience! My father
wants a dowry, yours a title.

174
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,960
Nothing more.
<font color="

175
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,560
CAT MEOWS INSIDE PIANO

176
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:42,320
Meowww...wwwoh, Edwin!

177
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,680
You must listen to what I'm saying.
But I don't want to hurt you.

178
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,080
BANG!

179
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,640
Excuse me.

180
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:56,680
But Father is ill, and if he were
to find out about you and I, I...

181
00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:58,960
<font color="
stand the shock.

182
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,320
Then you ought not
to break it off with me.

183
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,200
If you do, I'll see
your father learns everything.

184
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,720
I don't understand what you mean.

185
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,120
Kiss me!

186
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:09,520
No, Edwin!

187
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:10,640
Ooh!

188
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,320
<font color="

189
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,120
Emily!
SHE STRAINS

190
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,840
Emily! Emily!

191
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:22,720
Stable boy!

192
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:28,080
Stable boy! Oh! Sir. You didn't see
anything just now, did you?

193
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,520
Nothing at all, sir.

194
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,720
<font color="

195
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:39,760
That's a nice locket you've got
there. It belonged to my mother.

196
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:44,320
Of course. I didn't imagine
you could afford such fine things.

197
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:45,720
I could...

198
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,120
..help you with that.

199
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,640
Take this.

200
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,040
No!

201
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:56,920
<font color="

202
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,200
No!

203
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,800
Take this...

204
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,240
No!

205
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,360
Take this.
QUIETLY: Don't take it.

206
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,680
No, I couldn't possibly, sir!

207
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,360
No no.

208
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,640
I insist.

209
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,560
No!

210
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,400
I insist!

211
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,480
<font color="
No!

212
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,520
You're a horse! You've got nothing
to spend it on.

213
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:32,840
Apples.

214
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,320
Horses don't buy apples!
They would if they had money.

215
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,240
Shut up! Take it!

216
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,000
There's a good chap.

217
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,240
<font color="

218
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,480
WHIRRING STOPS

219
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,480
Come on, girl.

220
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:51,720
Oh!

221
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,440
Whinny!

222
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:58,880
Canter, canter.
Clop, clop, clop, clop...

223
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,360
Smythe?

224
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,640
Sir?

225
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:11,720
Fetch Mr Fennick, would you?
Sir.

226
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:15,040
<font color="
going to cost me my dowry.

227
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,920
Edwin?

228
00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:18,120
Ah, Mr. Fennick!

229
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:20,040
May I speak with you privately?
Of course.

230
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,720
Step out, will you, Smythe?
Yes, sir.

231
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,560
It's rather unfortunate.

232
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:31,560
<font color="
on the dining table just now,

233
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:35,720
and when I came back, I found
a pound note missing. Good Lord!

234
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,880
And I hate to say it,
but I saw your man Harper

235
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:41,120
leave pretty sharpish
<font color="

236
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,960
A thief? Thank heavens
Smythe didn't hear you say that.

237
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:50,240
He is like a father to that boy.
As I say, rather unfortunate.

238
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:53,240
I'll send for him now.
Smythe, come in here, will you?

239
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,120
Sir?
<font color="

240
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,920
Go and fetch Harper from the
stables, will you? Of course, sir.

241
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,480
Yes. I need to have a word with him.
Sorry about all this, Edw...

242
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:21,240
So sorry about all this, Edwin.
Oh, no, not at all.

243
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,040
It's hardly your fault.
<font color="

244
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,960
Mr Fennick, you wanted to see me,
sir? There you are, Harper!

245
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,880
Smythe, wait inside, would you?
As you wish, sir.

246
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,240
I'd rather you didn't
hear this. Now...

247
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,640
BANGING AND CRASHING
<font color="

248
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:42,320
HE SINGS A VERY HIGH NOTE

249
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,720
Turn out your pockets, Harper.
What's this about, sir?

250
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,080
Don't play the fool with me.
What do you mean?

251
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,160
We all know you've taken
the baron's money.

252
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,680
I've done no such thing!
<font color="

253
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,240
..this...

254
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,280
..bubble gum?

255
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,520
How do you explain this bubble gum?

256
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,760
This hasn't been invented yet!

257
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,480
But also, how do you explain this...

258
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,640
..handful of milk sachets?

259
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,920
You're not supposed to take these
<font color="

260
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,040
But also, how do you explain this...

261
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,520
..Dr Frog script?
"Enter Dr Frog.

262
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,160
"'Look at these medical reports.
They're ribbeting.'"

263
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,760
Did you write this? This is dross!

264
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,760
Thank you. Where's the money?
<font color="

265
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,880
Not your contemporary money!
The money in the play!

266
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,160
Oh! Oh!

267
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,280
Then how do you explain this...

268
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,800
..one-pound note?

269
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,280
Mr Graves insisted
I take it from him, sir.

270
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,200
I did nothing of the sort,
<font color="

271
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,160
What's going on? It pains me greatly
to do this, Harper,

272
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,280
but you're relieved of your post.

273
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,520
STUDIO AUDIENCE: Awww!

274
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:09,200
Awww!

275
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,280
Awww!

276
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,600
Awww!

277
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,160
Harper, this is awful.

278
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:26,800
<font color="
as a token of my love.

279
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,320
SHE GASPS
Oh! When everyone sleeps tonight,

280
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,400
meet me here, and, like the swallows

281
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:35,200
heading south for warmer climes, we
too shall fly and start a new life.

282
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,920
Oh, Harper! But now go!

283
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,720
<font color="

284
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:47,360
Bray!
Until tonight, my love.

285
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,720
HARPER CLICKS TONGUE

286
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,560
RIPPING

287
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,200
Whinny! Whinny!

288
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,000
Time to take your pill, Father.
Ah! I suppose.

289
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,560
Ah-ha-ha!

290
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,320
Feeling better, Father?

291
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,760
<font color="

292
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,760
CLANGER HITS FLOOR

293
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,560
Ling-a-ling-a-ling...

294
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:48,560
Dinner is served.
Thank you, Mrs Hargreaves.

295
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,280
Thank you, Smythe.

296
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:59,320
THUNDER CRASHES
I was right. A storm IS coming.

297
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,600
RAIN POURS DOWN

298
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:09,800
<font color="
at the head of the table.

299
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,960
I do love this spot.

300
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:29,560
What a treat it is to be dining
with family and family-to-be.

301
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,440
But, Celeste,
why do you look so sad?

302
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:36,480
I was just thinking of poor Harper.
<font color="

303
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,200
Yes. I'd hate to be out in this.

304
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,280
It's no less than he deserves.

305
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:46,120
Chef's finest roast vegetables.

306
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:49,560
THUD
Oh! Doesn't that look good?

307
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,200
And...

308
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,120
..the gravy.

309
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,000
Looks delicious.

310
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,120
<font color="

311
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,040
Forgive me.
For such a happy occasion,

312
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:11,520
there are more tears in my eyes
than I anticipated.

313
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,040
For now, we must toast to Celeste,

314
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,560
until now a Fennick
and soon to be a brand-new Graves.

315
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,160
Water, Mr Fennick?
<font color="

316
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:25,760
Thank you, Bernard,
for welcoming me into your family.

317
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:29,200
Thank you, Emily, for the warmth
you have shown me.

318
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:32,680
And, of course, Celeste, my love...
BANGING AND CRASHING

319
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:36,720
..I cannot wait to share
<font color="

320
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:40,440
Now, please, raise your glasses
to my daughter Celeste.

321
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,640
BANGING

322
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,000
But of course, it would not be right
to toast my daughter without...

323
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,600
HAMMERING
..toasting my new son.

324
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,720
Let us drink as well
<font color="

325
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,120
If it's not one thing, it's another!
HAMMERING GETS LOUDER

326
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:55,120
..TO BARON EDWIN GRAVES,

327
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:56,800
THE NEWEST MEMBER OF

328
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,640
THE FAMILY!!!

329
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,400
HAMMERING STOPS
Of the family.

330
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,880
Fixed it!

331
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,880
Thank you!

332
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,040
<font color="

333
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:07,480
CRASH!

334
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,560
Sorry!

335
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,280
What a wonderful sentiment, Father.

336
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:18,200
My darling, what an unusual locket.
Wherever did you get it?

337
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,680
I don't know. Erm...

338
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:23,040
I've had it for years.
Is that so? It was Mother's.

339
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,320
<font color="

340
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,080
I'm sure you're mistaken, Father.

341
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,960
How's your food?
A little dry.

342
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:34,040
Oh, Father, don't start yet.
We must say grace. Ah, of course.

343
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,520
Dear Lord...

344
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,440
Oh, dear Lord!

345
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,200
<font color="
and us to your service.

346
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,520
Protect us from harm and keep us
safe in your kingdom. Amen!

347
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,320
ALL: Amen!

348
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,600
Marvellous. Let's tuck in.

349
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,360
Emily? Would you pass
the horseradish?

350
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,760
Celeste, don't slouch.

351
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:13,240
<font color="
this cranberry sauce. Yes, Father.

352
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,720
THEY WHIMPER

353
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,840
LOUD BANGING AND CRASHING

354
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,960
I, FOR ONE, AM VERY GLAD
TO BE HERE WITH YOU ALL!

355
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,680
AND EVERYTHING IS SIMPLY DELICIOUS!

356
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,280
WHERE'S SMYTHE WITH THAT RUMP?

357
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,400
<font color="
SMYTHE!

358
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,840
SMYTHE!
SMYTHE!

359
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,800
PIANO PLAYS BEAUTIFULLY

360
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,080


361
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:07,160
ALL:

362
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,720
PIANO STOPS

363
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,560
Oh, good, the rain's stopped.

364
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,840
<font color="
seeing you marry, I wonder?

365
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,040
I...

366
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:30,640
..have no intention of marrying
any time soon, Father.

367
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,720
So young to have
sworn off men already.

368
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:33,840
HE CHUCKLES

369
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,320
Indeed I have, Father.

370
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,520
<font color="
has taught me

371
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,880
to...find them...quite beastly.

372
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,040
Father...

373
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:55,880
..would you carve the rump?

374
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,760
Please, allow me
to season it first, sir.

375
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,840
And I'll, er, just...

376
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,360
..check that it is cooked through.

377
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:29,840
<font color="
that that's fine to eat,

378
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,800
although we will not eat that.

379
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,160
I quite agree with you, Emily.

380
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:41,120
There are some gentlemen who are
barely men and anything but gentle.

381
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:44,000
I can't stand
another moment of this!

382
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,040
<font color="

383
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,000
and all the while,
you are lying to us!

384
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,480
I don't know what you mean!
Don't play the fool.

385
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,000
You're wearing Harper's locket.

386
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,200
THUNDER CRASHES

387
00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:00,040
Your daughter is planning to
<font color="

388
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,680
Is this true, Celeste?!

389
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:04,240
It is, Father. I love him.

390
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,800
And I love her.

391
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,040
This is too much
for my fragile lungs.

392
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,320
QUICK COUGHING FIT

393
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:14,080
Have you no shame? You're one
<font color="

394
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,160
Emily, please! Edwin and I
have been having a liaison.

395
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,040
Oh, my heart!

396
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,680
Can you ever forgive me, Celeste?

397
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:26,160
My love, it's time.
We must flee this cruel house.

398
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,240
You'll not be going anywhere
<font color="

399
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,400
THEY GASP

400
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:33,760
Action!

401
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,600
You're right, we probably
could have used less.

402
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,600
Treacle! Treacle! No!

403
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,200
STUDIO AUDIENCE: Awww!

404
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,680
Oh, Edwin, how could you?
Now that the horse is dead,

405
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,000
<font color="
out of its misery.

406
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,480
SHE GASPS

407
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:01,800
BANG!

408
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,560
Celeste, no!

409
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,240
Edwin!

410
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,200
ARGH!

411
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,280
Celeste? Oh, dear Celeste,
don't die.

412
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,000
Celeste knew there was
<font color="

413
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:26,160
Look how happy we were
just a few hours ago...

414
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,560
..playing croquet
without a care in the world.

415
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,560
A frog was there.

416
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,320
SHE GASPS

417
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,480
Celeste, you're alive!
How?

418
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,320
Harper's locket!
<font color="

419
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:43,360
Thank God!

420
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,440
But what about Treacle?

421
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:47,480
Treacle! Treacle!

422
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:51,320
She's alive!
She's going to be all right!

423
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,200
VACUUM WHIRS
No, Treacle! Treacle, no!

424
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,520
HE CRIES OUT

425
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,760
Treacle! Treacle! Agh!

426
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,520
<font color="

427
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,280
Bray, bray!

428
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,800
Father, I am so sorry
to have caused you such pain.

429
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:14,520
My darling girl, all I ever wanted
was for you to be happy.

430
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:18,120
If Harper makes you happy,
then you have my blessing.

431
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:22,160
Be he pauper or prince, he will be
<font color="

432
00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:26,280
No no.
STUDIO AUDIENCE: Awwwww!

433
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,920
Where's Smythe?
Smythe, you must hear of this!

434
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,160
STUDIO AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS

435
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:34,240
Sir, I...

436
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:40,680
Indeed.

437
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,520
Emily, are you all right?
<font color="

438
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:49,040
Edwin was a frightful man who preyed
upon me in my young..."naivete".

439
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:50,680
BANG!

440
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:55,800
Excuse me...

441
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,840
I'm so sorry to have inflicted
that dreadful man upon you.

442
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,080
Well, I say...

443
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:04,760
..good riddance to him.

444
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,840
<font color="

445
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,640
Look, everyone,
the clouds are clearing.

446
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,240
The storm has passed.
BIRDSONG

447
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:28,960
Harper?

448
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,080
Perhaps you'd like
to join us inside.

449
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:33,880
Thank you, sir.

450
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:41,000
I feel as though an awful weight
<font color="

451
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,440
Emily, perhaps you'd play
that song for us again.

452
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,080
Of course, Father!
PIANO PLAYS

453
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:51,080

ALL:

454
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:54,200
MEOWING


455
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:57,520
<font color="

456
00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:00,240
EMILY SHRIEKS, CAT YOWLS


